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Many of these labels are used loosely in the media we read and watch, and here on the lines, we hear them a lot.
“Narcissist” is one of the more common terms we hear from callers and chatters about their abusive partners.
Additionally, the sheer amount of articles and opinions on abusive behaviors can become overwhelming.
Terms like narcissistic, antisocial/sociopath or borderline personality often come up in that search for answers.
Abusive behavior would need to be addressed separately.
We know that whether someone has a mental health disorder or not, they are always in control of their choices and abuse is a choice that someone makes.
Abusers often minimize or deny their behaviors, or even shift the blame to the non-abusive person.
While it can feel like your partner ”just doesn’t get it” and lacks self-awareness, this is often an emotionally abusive tactic used to make the other partner question themselves.
At this time, there is no research that conclusively shows that a higher percentage of abusive partners deal with mental illness or disorders (including narcissistic personality disorder) than the general population.It can feel empowering to be able to define your partner using these commonly-cited personality disorders.But, labeling a person with a diagnosis without intensive knowledge and experience, or based on generalizations, can be problematic in a few ways.The same is true for getting support in addressing abusive behaviors.If your partner is abusive, their behavior is never something you can cause and is not something you can “fix.” In the end, a person must actively choose for themselves to take the steps needed to make a change.
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